


The Memester

by GoodQualityStuff



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8299610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodQualityStuff/pseuds/GoodQualityStuff
Summary: inspired by this beautiful post: http://artsysquiddles.tumblr.com/post/151845897080/give-me-a-overwatch-fic-where-instead-of-jackJack follows a lead and figures out something he should have already known.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I got bored, found a post on tumblr, and then wrote this. Pretty sure this is as close to "crack" as it gets these days.
> 
> This is the post btw: http://artsysquiddles.tumblr.com/post/151845897080/give-me-a-overwatch-fic-where-instead-of-jack by the marvelous artsysquiddles
> 
> Rating for language

Soldier 76 remained hidden in the corner of the warehouse, remaining completely silent as he waited to hear for others approaching. He had gotten a tip off from an old ally of his that Talon agents were coming to the warehouse for a weapons trade and he wasn't going to pass that chance up. He'd gotten there while the sun was still setting, knowing he'd have a few hours to break in quietly, get acquainted with the layout, and find a place to hide.

Time passed slowly, as the soldier waited for a sign of anyone. When it got passed midnight he was afraid he had gotten the address wrong, or worse, that his old ally had given him false information. He began wondering how loud he would be if he just munched on a granola bar when he heard the doors to the warehouse open. He snuck silently along the wall, making his way towards the noises. He crept down a couple of aisles before hiding again, getting a glance at what was happening.

A line of forklifts were driving in, each carrying five giant cardboard boxes packed on top of each other. Catching glimpses between the moving vehicles Soldier 76 was able to spot five Talon agents accompanied by none other than Reaper and Widowmaker. The soldier gripped his gun tighter. He could handle them one at a time, but going against the both of them would be a difficult task. One that might be too much for him.

He could hear Reapers and Widowmakers voices but couldn't make out what they were saying. He snuck down a couple more aisles and hid, just barely catching their words between the cars. Reapers gravelly voice had more frustration to it than usual.

"Get off my ass, Widowmaker." Widowmakers voice almost sounded amused.

"It would save you quite a lot of money in the long run."

"You know damn well that's not a problem. Speaking of which, why don't you go do the job you came here to do?"

"I didn't agree to do anything while I was here. I just wanted to see it with my own eyes."

"See what?"

"The shipment. Quite a bit more than I was expecting."

"Shut up and keep them in line, I'll take care of the guy." Soldier watched Reaper head towards the warehouse doors and followed him as quietly as possible. Saying he was going to "take care" of someone couldn't mean anything good.

He watched Reaper leave and glanced around at the scene. With forklifts still driving in and some leaving, there was no chance he could leave through the front door unseen. However the windows at the top of the building would take forever to get to for a quiet escape. There was no point in being quiet if a man was dead before he got there-

Glass being smashed echoed throughout the warehouse as the windows at the top were broken by bodies crashing through them. The forklifts stopped and everyone drew their attention to the sound. Gunshots rang out, and the Talon agents quickly followed up with their own gunshots, shooting at nothing. Soldier quickly gathered his thoughts back and headed to the door. No time to figure out what was going on, this was the best distraction he was going to get.

It seemed he didn't need one though, as just as he was getting to the doors Reaper came flying through, landing roughly on his back with a groan. Soldier hid once more as a giant omnic came through the doors, hammer in hand- wait that wasn't an omnic. Soldier recognized that outfit. It belonged to the crusaders, and the soldier could only think of one person who still wore his in battle.

Reinhardt.

Those that answered the recall were here.

More Talon agents that had waited outside came running in, shooting blindly as they started moving through the aisles, trying to find the intruders. Reaper got on his feet just in time to jump back from a swing from Reinhardt before he disappeared into the ground. Reinhardt looked around in confusion, but Soldier 76 quickly spotted him on top of the aisle he was hiding behind. Using the element of surprise he started to shoot at him, getting a couple good shots before Reaper noticed him below. He changed into his wraith form and fell to meet him. Soldier shot at the ghost, backing up to find something for cover. Reaper laughed as he changed back to his corporeal form and took his guns out. He aimed directly at the soldier, who had nowhere to go, and spoke deep and menacingly.

"Suns out, guns out."

Soldier 76 was baffled at first, which allowed a bullet to scrape his arm as he got his attention back. He changed his tactic and ran towards Reaper, dodging the bullets as best he could. Once he was in arms reach he hit Reaper straight on with the butt of his gun, throwing Reaper off. Soldier used this chance to climb the boxes for a better vantage point. Reaper groaned, grabbing his mask as if it ached. Soldier took aim.

"It's night time, dumbass."

Reaper chuckled as he ran from the pulse rifles bullets, tossing his guns and grabbing new ones to shoot back. They continued shooting back and forth at each other, running up and down and through the aisles while ignoring the rest of the fighting taking place around them. Reaper laughed maniacally all the while, spouting absurdities such as "Catch these hands, fucker" and "Why you no dead yet?" As bizarre and outlandish as his statements were, they made Soldier feel a ting of nostalgia that he couldn't put his finger on.

Soldier turned a corner to catch Reaper about to shadow step elsewhere, and shot at him while he was most vulnerable. Reaper fell and grabbed his side, unable to escape through his technique. Soldier walked over with his gun aimed at the white mask, hearing him hum an odd tune. Soldier put the barrel to his head.

"What are you doing with those weapons?"

Reaper lifted his head slightly, singing words to the tune he was humming.

"Mmm whatcha say? Oh, that you only meant well-"

"Answer me!" Soldier pressed the barrel harder, getting frustrated with Reaper's nonsensical words. Reaper groaned in pain and lowered his head again.

"They're being transported to BOFA."

"Bofa?"

"Bofa deez nuts."

Reaper laughed as Soldier 76 dropped his gun and slapped his hand to his forehead.

"Christ, Gabe, would you-"

He realized what he said and stopped himself, looking down at the ghost before him. Memories came flooding back so fast it was almost painful, and he got pissed at himself for forgetting in the first place. Gabriel Reyes, his friend and lover, the most gorgeous man he had ever known, was infamous for his shitty memes. He would confuse new recruits, being intimidating and terrifying one second, and then the next second pointing towards a chair that had fallen over and saying "same." Those who knew him would get captured deep into a conversation before he would drop a meme on them, comforting them with a hand on the shoulder and saying "That's rough buddy."

Jack, having spent years of his life by Gabriel's side, knew better than anyone how much of a meme master he was.

"Fuck, Gabe?"

Reaper slowly got to his feet, his hand still on his side.

"...Jack?"

They stood in silence for many long seconds, taking in the situation. When it finally hit them, where they both were, that neither of them had died, that they were now fighting to kill...

They broke out into hysterical laughter.

They both quickly fell to their knees, Gabe from his pain and Jack trying to steady him, but the laughter continued for several minutes. Jack was the first one to calm down, punching Gabe in the arm.

"Ow, fuck! You already shot me!"

"I thought you were dead, asshole!" Gabe laughed, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes before remembering his mask was there.

"Surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."

"Enough memes, Gabe."

"Can't believe you figured out it was me from a "deez nuts" joke."

"I can't believe you still make "deez nuts" jokes."

Gabe pushed himself back on to his feet, using a box as leverage.

"Touche." Jack got up with him, reaching his hands out just in case Gabe fell. When they were both standing up, Gabe took as deep a breath as he could and sighed.

"You call in for back up?" He motioned to the windows above. Jack shook his head.

"Angela told me your plans for tonight. They knew about your meetup before I did. I just got here first."

Gabe nodded, glancing around. He looked up and changed into wraith form as an arrow soared through his body, hitting into the ground. Soldier looked up to see a semi-shirtless man with a bow aimed towards them, readying his next shot. Reaper floated behind Jack, making his way to the end of the aisle.

"Later, bitch."

He disappeared around the corner, and Soldier 76 chased after him just in time to watch the last of him disappear. He heard someone land gently behind him and turned to face the semi-shirtless man. The man readied another bow, ready to shoot at the first threat he saw. He glanced at the soldier.

"My team wishes to speak with you. Mercy says you are an old friend who can help us. However, given what I have seen of you so far and your incapability to be a good distraction, we shall see if we let you join."

"What? Distraction?"

"You had kept the Reapers attention with conversation, but he still noticed my arrow before it could hit. You will have to work on that."

He ran off ahead, joining a group of voices and fighting sounds up ahead. Jack sighed. They were all in front of the exit to the warehouse. Looked like he didn't have a choice but to talk to them. He held his gun up, ready to charge into the battle, when something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He looked to his right and saw a piece of paper land on the floor next to his feet. He bent down to pick it up, and after a quick read through of the sheet he let out a defeated sigh.

"Fucking dramatic asshole."

The paper was a copy of an order form. The order was for one hundred crates of shotguns, specially designed. He flipped the page to see the design and with no surprise saw a blueprint of Reapers guns.

Soldier 76 let out a groan, and heard a distant gravelly laugh.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So that happened.


End file.
